Top Ten Don’ts for Summer 2011

10. Aviator glasses. DON’T. You think you look something like this: 

But in reality, you look more like this: 

9. Yes, most of you have to mow your lawns. Of course you don’t want to mow at 3:00 PM when it’s 107 degrees outside in the shade. The alternatives you have chosen? Mow early in the morning or in the evening. Those are great alternatives. However, DON’T mow your lawn after 8:00 PM on a weekday. Please be considerate of your neighbors who work early or have children in bed. I don’t want you to suffer heat stroke by mowing mid-day, but that’s what weekends are for. People are more flexible and well-rested on weekends.

8. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II. You think I’m going to say something disparaging about it now, don’t you? Well, I’m not. So what’s the don’t? DON’T make fun of people who go see it, even if they’re dressed up like a bunch of lunatics. Why? Because I’M going to go see it and if you make fun of me I’ll punch you in the face.

7. If you’re my neighbor, and you look something like this:

             please feel FREE to mow your lawn shirtless!! Pretty please!!

If, however, you live within a 30 mile radius of my house and look anything like this (you know who you are):

 we are ALL begging you – DON’T mow shirtless!! At the very least, have the decency to get some manscaping before even cosidering baring those pecs!

6. DON’T drive like a bat out of hell down neighborhood streets. Remember that kids are out of school and many will be playing outside. I would hope they’re all being supervised by their indefatigable, omnipresent, responsible parents…but I’m a realist, so I know that most of these little heathens are home alone for the summer, running around the neighborhood looking for trouble. As much as you might want to, running over them with your car is NOT an option. Try to be safe and use good judgment.

5. If you love yourself at all, please DON’T wear an adult onesie, aka a jumpsuit. They are not cute past the age of 7. These ladies are models, and even THEY look silly. What do you think you’re going to look like?

4. You might be tempted to, but DON’T keep your A/C set at 65 degrees all summer, forcing you to wear a scarf and mittens inside. I plan on being comfortable, but I’m going to avoid the meat-locker-esque environment this summer. I’m not trying to preserve myself, for crying out loud! Your energy bill will be much more tolerable if you keep temps reasonable.

3. DON’T continue telling everyone that you’re going to take a STAYcation! We all get it. The economy sucks right now. I can’t take a vacation either, but when someone asks me if I’m going anywhere, I’m just going to tell them,  “No.” It’s really simple. Saying that you’re having a staycation does not make you sound cool. I think the word was trendy for about a week. We’re over it.

2. For the love of all things good in the world, DON’T wear UGGs in the summertime…especially when you’re wearing shorts.

1. DON’T forget the sunscreen, especially for your children. Building up a little vitamin D is definitely a good thing, but getting blistered skin or melanoma – not so much. It only takes a minute to put some on yourself or your kiddos and everyone will be happier and healthier if you do!

Thanks to Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop for the topic inspiration!
Check her out!

Mama’s Losin’ It

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jamie @ The Roubinek Reality
    May 27, 2011 @ 23:05:02

    Great list! If a guy living looking like Brad Pitt wanted to mow my yard, he could do it shirtless AND in the middle of my kids’ nap time. 🙂

    Stopping by from Mama Kat’s.

    Reply

  2. Eejaye
    May 30, 2011 @ 00:48:06

    Two things:

    Your #6… grrr! I hate people who drive like crazy through neighborhoods. We have a stop sign and straight-a-way right behind my house. People think it’s a drag strip and come barrelling through there, ignoring the 20mph sign and the crosswalk 100 yards ahead of them.

    #1… *sigh* Every year we go to Florida. And every year we come home with my husband looking like a lobster. Husbands, take note: Sunscreen isn’t just for kids and women! Use it!!

    Reply

  3. Nadya
    May 31, 2011 @ 00:25:31

    (Thanks for dropping by on TTT)

    Love your points and they are all so valid! I would like to add as well, that mowing your lawn before 8 on a Saturday or Sunday is also not on in any great fashion. But of course, we only got to sleep till 8 BEFORE we became parents, so it is no real bother to me now.

    Reply

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